A Year & 5 Months.

Today is Jake and I's year and 5 months nothing completely special but we have 7 more months until 2 years and that is what I cannot wait for, I've never been with someone this long and his longest relationship was 6 years but at different times so I'm trying to beat that. I know I'm the right one for him and he knows that as well, we do have arguments but never fight which is good. I just want him to stay because my dad left me when I was 2 months old and I hate him for it. I want Jake to be here for his kid but also with me so that everything appears fine, Jake shows no signs of leaving and he is always telling me that he never will. I want my kid to love his/her dad because I never got that love and I don't want my kids doing what I was doing, I always thought that I had to date someone because I never got that guy love from my own father and I was always ending up getting hurt in the end and I get attached too quick and I don't want my kid doing that because I have bad trust issues and I just worry all the time and I don't want my kid a nervous wreck like me. I want Jake to be there for school events and playing with his child and just to be a huge role in my child's life. I know Jake and I were and still aren't ready for this but we both agreed to stay and there's not much more trouble we could get into because the worst has happened and all we need to do is take the bull by the horns and just deal with it and get through it, I know we can its not always the hardest being parents but it is hard to watch another being but I know we can make it through and Jake realizes that now as well, I have faith in us. Parenting isn't the easiest so I am told and we will never get sleep and we may fight and lose our sanity but its worth it and Jake knows that as well. I have faith in us and so does he.