9/6/13

Today I have a doctor's appointment at 2:30, I am hoping that they will tell me something new about Kiara. Last week they said she is low but no dilation yet, I hope they say she's a lot lower now because yesterday I had a lot of pelvic pain and every time I got up or walked around it felt really heavy on my pelvic. I am so excited that I am almost done with this. The only thing I am not looking forward to is that if she comes soon then I have to have 6 weeks off of school and I can't get all that work done before she's born, and I can bring homework home while I am at home but I don't think I will have the time, plus I wanna spend all the time I can with my baby girl. I am still a little scared to give birth but I know it has to happen and that I will do fine. I can do this.

Today.

Today I feel fine. Normally when I wake up I have pelvic pain anywhere from an hour to two hours after I wake up and today I feel more pain and its been like three hours since I had woken up, I think Kiara is going lower into the birth canal. I only have two weeks left so that makes since, I don't think she is coming early, I think she is going to be stubborn. I know for a fact my baby is not going to be small, every time the doctor measures my stomach she tells me that Kiara will not be a small baby. I guessed she would be 8 1/2 pounds and Jake is saying just 8 pounds. I was a big baby and they say normally your baby will be big depending on how big you and your partner were and I was 9 pounds and Jake was 7 pounds so it would make sense that she would be somewhere around 8 pounds. Jake says Kiara will come early but I don't think so, I think she will try to hold on for as long as she can. I just hope they don't have to induce me. I don't know what they do but I would rather my baby just come out when she's ready. If the time comes and she still says she's not ready then I will let them induce me and then have her come home. I've been ready for her since I first found out I was pregnant and now that I know I am close I want her now. I just hope she doesn't try to fight me lol.

Today Has It's Ups & Downs.

The up side of today is that a lady at the gas station saw me trying to pay for my fountain drink in change which wasn't bad it was only $1.06 and this lady behind me told the lady at the register to give me back my change and she did so but looked confused and then she demanded that the lady ring up her things along with mine and I asked her what she was doing because I was trying to pay for my drink and leave because I was late for school and she looked at me and said "I know what its like to be pregnant and today is going to be hot, I'm paying for your drink" and I said "thank you but its okay" and she just paid it and said "have a nice day."

The down side to today is that before the gas station trip I went to Mcdonald's because I wanted a large drink and that's only a dollar and seven cents and they told me that they don't do the $1 any size drinks anymore so I drove off, already late for school and went to the gas station.

Update!

SOOOOOOOOOOO... its been a long time since I've been on, let me fill you in a little. I am 38 weeks and 1 day, Kiara can come any day now if not then I have two weeks left. I have 105 hours left and I am trying to finish before she is born but if not then I will try my best to do homework while I am away for 6 weeks if not then I will proudly return and finish up quick. Jake and I are going strong, we went to the Ren. Festival a couple weekends ago and we picked out engagement rings, mine was $127.00 and it is a simple one stone (Alexandrite) and it is beautiful and its silver, Jakes is silver and rose gold kind of in a knot looking design, his stone is a Sapphire (Kiara's birth stone) just a little stone and his was $205.00. Lets see, what else could I talk about, hmmmmm. We had my baby shower in July it was July 27th, Jake and I's a year and 8 months and it was fun about three of my friends showed up and the rest was family and my mom's friend's, surprisingly my real dad showed up and that was fun. I got a lot of helpful stuff for Kiara and so far Jake and I set up her bassinet so she has a little bed for when she comes home. I have tons of clothes, Jake's mom is helping me sort through them and putting out the ones she will need right away and putting away the ones she doesn't need until 6-12 months. Our apartment is a little messy but with my nesting I am only concerned about the bathroom and the kitchen, we need to clean our room and rearrange it to have space for her things as well. I have her diaper bag packed for the hospital, it includes: newborn diapers, wipes, bottle, formula, pacifier, a rattle toy, diaper rash cream, two pairs of socks, three onsie outfits, and two pairs of mittens so she doesn't hurt her face. We have the carrier car seat with two bases which will come in handy, and the car seat after she's done in the carrier. We have everything we need. My grandma said she will buy diapers until she's potty trained and that helps us a lot because diapers are expensive and we would need a whole hell of a lot and she understands this. Also I was looking into breast feeding but I am not sure if I am gonna go through with it but I will try it at the hospital if its not my thing then its not my thing, but Jake's mom is gonna help with formula until I contact WIC and tell them my baby was born, then they will give me vouchers to get formula, that is also nice because formula is a lot of money. I have EBT and Cash assistance which is helpful because if I am not working and only Jake is, Jake is only making enough to pay rent and the electric and also his car insurance, the cash would help me if I needed gas, or if Kiara needs something and just stuff like that or if I absolutely need something as well. EBT would help Jake and I a lot because we wouldn't have extra money for food and that's where that comes in to play. So far I am pretty set, the government wants me to look for work 6 weeks after Kiara is born but I at least want to be with my baby for at least 3 months and Jake knows this and is okay with that because day care is expensive and he would rather I watch her and take care of her because hes really scared and he doesn't always trust day care people either and I am okay with that because I want to spend a lot of time with her and so they government has this paperwork I fill out that basically says "leave me alone until my baby is 1" and I can't get a job, my job will be a full time day care for her and Jake is okay with that and I can stop it at any time so I am gonna fill it out and then when Kiara is 3-4 months old then I will tell them Okay I am ready to look for work then they will say "do you have someone watching your baby? if not we can provide day care" so I would say "someone is watching her" and I will have someone that can watch her, watch her. If not then I guess day care I just would rather not. Oh well, time to go.

Engagement Rings.

Jake's mom, Jamie said for now we can use her grandparents rings and Jake's fits him but mine is too big and needs to be resized but Jake is already wearing his and it fits but his knuckle is big so he can't get it off which is good because he shouldn't take it off. But yes I cannot wait.

Kiara Rose Wagner.

We decided to have our baby girl's name to be Kiara Rose Wagner. We are still looking around for names but I think Kiara will be the winner because he is starting to like it more and more each day. Today I am 22 weeks and 2 days, Kiara is 11 inches and almost a pound. She is starting to look like a miniature newborn. Her lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, she's even developing little tooth buds beneath her gum line. If you could see inside the womb you would see a fine hair line, her eyes have formed but the irises still lack pigment. My due date is September 16th 2013 and I have 4 months left, in two weeks I will be 6 months. In July we are having a baby shower and I can't wait. I want to hold her already.

Pretty Soon.

On Saturday April 27th, that will be the day that Jake and I will have fun all day long. Why? because it is our year and 6 months of being together, not too special but it is a year in a half of being together and it is my longest relationship. Things between him and I were shaky the last couple of weeks but it was so cute because all he told me was: "I cannot lose you Krissy, you seriously are my everything and without you I am lost, I am a mess, and I am missing my family. I want to be here to watch my family grow and to be here when you're sad or down to cheer you up and I want to be here for my child and I will not lose both of you. I am being very serious about this and I want to know if you would marry me?" and my heart stopped. He said I know what I did was wrong and it was bad to do that when I was your boyfriend but now as a husband I couldn't live with myself if I did what I had done as your husband. And I just had to say yes because I have loved this kid since I first started talking to him which was 11/26/11 then the next day he came over and hung out for a little bit because I was up north and I got home at 11:30 and he wanted to hang out and smoke a cig and even though we were planning on hanging out the next day he wanted to hang out and my curfew was midnight so we talked outside until then and I hugged him and watched him leave and then I went inside and texted him saying "I really wish I could kiss you" and he said "come outside" and he was right on the street outside of his car and I ran out there and he kissed me and then asked me out and and I said yes and then he kissed me again and he said I will text you until you fall asleep. He was just perfect and I knew from then on that I wanted to be with him forever. Before him I was depressed because every single guy that I had dated since I was 13 cheated on me or used me and I was just to the point where I didn't feel loved anymore and I was alone and I would go to school and come home and sleep and then do it everyday even on the weekends, but after him I have always felt loved and never felt alone and that is why even though I am young and everyone will say "your gonna regret it" I don't care, I want this to work I want this family to work. I don't like my dad because he left me when I was 2 months old and now I can't stand the thought of him because he seriously was never there for me. I don't want that to be the case with Jake and his child. I will try everything I can to make this work and I will try to keep us together.